


Never a Waste

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2011-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mayonnaise is a serious subject where Hijikata is involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never a Waste

"You know, Hijikata-kun" Itou said coolly, putting down his sake for a second to smugly regard his colleague, sitting across the table from him. "I never took you for a lightweight."

"Shut up." He could see a bit of redness creeping into the dark-haired man's face as he put more mayonnaise in his ramen.

"You know how disgusting that is, right?" He delicately took up some of his own ramen and watched him as he ate.

"Then don't ask me to eat with you, _Itou-san_."

"If I remember correctly, you're the one who asked me first. To talk." There was a clink of ceramic on wood - he put down his sake and looked at Hijikata.

"Then let me finish eating."

"But then I have to watch you eat that disgusting mayonnaise covered ramen."

"Then do you want to do something about it?" He flung the tiniest bit of the eggy condiment at his rival, hitting his glasses. But even dirtying his glasses couldn't make the look Itou gave Hijikata any less volatile.

He stood up. "Are you interested in a food fight, Hijikata? I didn't realize your tastes in play were so _juvenile_."

"Then don't make fun of my tastes in _food_." The dark haired man fllinged another glob at his rival, successfully hitting his nose.

Itou still ignored it. "What did you want to talk about, exactly?"

Hijikata's eyes barely focused as he looked back at Itou, but he still couldn't help but giggle. Itou wasn't stupid, he knew what he had just tried to do. "Uh ... you."

It was strange to hear words that were usually considered romantic come from that idiot's mouth. Itou sighed.

"What _about_ me, Hijikata- _kun_? Has that sake really gone so thoroughly to your head that you've decided that you feel it necessary to make an embarrassing confession that you will probably regret for the rest of your pitiful life?"

Hijikata looked down at his mayonnaise covered dinner. Itou supposed that to him, that look must have been one of adoration, one of craving, but he still couldn't understand how someone could look at that much mayonnaise without getting sick to their stomach. But then that same strange rival got up, slowly, and, taking his ramen with him, walked to the other side of the table. He leaned in close to Itou, licking the mayo off his nose.

Itou still managed to snort. "So _that's_ what you were interested in? Really, Hijikata-kun, you could have just told me that from the outset and this all would have been much easier--"

Hijikata cut in. "Nah, I just didn't want that to go to waste. It's like I already said, don't insult my tastes, _Itou-san_."

Itou could feel some regret, some hesitation, in Hijikata's movements after that. He opened his mouth, with the intent to retort, but instead, he got the strange, sickening feeling of his mouth being filled with a creamy substance that didn't really belong there.

And then he realized that it was all over his face at all. Hijikata Toshirou, in a move that was, if he was being honest with himself, was completely shocking. Hijikata had just wasted half of a mayo ramen dinner by smashing it into his face.

And stranger still, Itou couldn't figure out if he was supposed to be flattered by this or not.


End file.
